Quotes from Last Semester
Originally Posted at 01:10 AM on Aug. 27, 2003
I completely forgot about this. And a few other excuses. Yada yada. All are funny, some you had to be there for, some not; but without any further ado:
After asking a stupid question, and being told by the professor the answer was spelled out in chapter one, and that it was a key concept to everything we've done since day one...the student responded..."Whoa. Oh sorry, I was out late last night... Never mind." - Number one party school in the nation you say?
After asking about a homework problem, the professor asks the inquiring student what he got as his answer; "I really don't know it's kind of sloppy..."
The professor posted a problem on the board, and asked the class what we should do; she was met by silence. She then asked if we should fail to reject (Statistics). I half ask-answered "Sure..?" To which she responded quasi-sarcastically... "Let's work it out." A minute later it was discovered the correct answer was "Fail to Reject." At which time I said to the prof, "So, sure..?" And the professor responded, "Yeah, sure is the answer."
Another day in Stats: The professor asked the class, "Anyone wanna tell me what we do now?" To which I responded, "Cry?"
"Sell the sizzle. Not the steak."
"Marketing is not Rocket Science."
"Any color you want.. as long as it's black." - Henry Ford on the Model T
"Who wants to have a blue windshield?" - Pontiac blowing years of R&D
"70% of Beer is consumed by males age 18-34 while watching sports." - Think about that.
Discussing caffeinated beverages and target markets, a Mormon woman is brought up as an example. - "Yeah, but if that woman starts hanging out with Atheists, she's gonna buy a coke eventually!"
"I see a lot of things my friends don't see.." - Random Guy
"I can't talk Piggip Latin." - Brad
"You can't speak English." - Me
"Hey look a hot chick!" - Brad
"She just went by two girls ago." - Me
"Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! You have to realize my memory of hot chicks only goes back one." - Brad
The same girl walks back by.
"Do you remember her now? - Me
"Yeah, she was the last one. - Brad
A "hot chick" passes by, followed soon after by the original one.
"Hey! There's another one!" - exclaimed Brad
---------------------------------------
Note: My Psych Professor's name is Joe Berta, and the following are entitled Berta-isms. All are directly from lectures he's given. And, shocking though it may be, many of them came directly from talking about Psychology.
"Joe Berta is the Future!"
"Don't screw with the Pigmes!"
"Note to self: Don't drill holes in skull..or go into boxing... or play hacky-sack or soccer w/ brain."
"Twitmeyer the Contender" - (Supposedly the first guy to use Classical Conditioning - eat your heart out Pavlov)
"I know more about underwear than Michael Jordan!" - Berta knows Underwear.
Explaining Memory, how people generally remember things which can be applied to themselves personally better than anything else: "Which just goes to show you, you're an egotistical bastard."
Walking along one day, Joe is met by a mother duck, and her young. The ducklings scatter, and the mother faces Joe down. She quacks intimidatingly at him. In response, "I couldn't take that shit so I killed her..." - The class sits in stunned silence.. "just kidding." - The class breaks out in hysterical laughter.
Joe explains Women's jealousy over Men in a single phrase: "The world is our urinal!"
Religion and Science: "We're not playing the same game!"
"It was the third grade before I realized nuns were women."
"I'm a hot-ass, let's face it."
"Gay people are coming into their own." - Classic quote from Joe (he relived this one for us from his earlier days)
Mid-Lecture: "Fascinating... I'm beginning to bore myself..."
"Don't ever kiss anyone, you don't know where those lips have been."
"I'm just too smart to see my mistakes."
"If you like ______, I'm only kidding... the rest of you, I'm not!"
"Assoc...Assoc... It's called underwear!" - If you don't get it, it was pronounced Ass-Sock.
"All I do is teach Psychology and watch Banzai."
"It's official, I've turned into a lunatic. I've got a golf football in my pocket, and I think it's cool. I'm nuts!"
"What are they called... you know... Stationwagons on Steroids..?" - Berta
"SUVs?" - Me
"Yeah, that's it!" - Berta
-----------------------------------------
Hope you enjoyed.
Originally Posted at 01:10 AM on Aug. 27, 2003
I completely forgot about this. And a few other excuses. Yada yada. All are funny, some you had to be there for, some not; but without any further ado:
After asking a stupid question, and being told by the professor the answer was spelled out in chapter one, and that it was a key concept to everything we've done since day one...the student responded..."Whoa. Oh sorry, I was out late last night... Never mind." - Number one party school in the nation you say?
After asking about a homework problem, the professor asks the inquiring student what he got as his answer; "I really don't know it's kind of sloppy..."
The professor posted a problem on the board, and asked the class what we should do; she was met by silence. She then asked if we should fail to reject (Statistics). I half ask-answered "Sure..?" To which she responded quasi-sarcastically... "Let's work it out." A minute later it was discovered the correct answer was "Fail to Reject." At which time I said to the prof, "So, sure..?" And the professor responded, "Yeah, sure is the answer."
Another day in Stats: The professor asked the class, "Anyone wanna tell me what we do now?" To which I responded, "Cry?"
"Sell the sizzle. Not the steak."
"Marketing is not Rocket Science."
"Any color you want.. as long as it's black." - Henry Ford on the Model T
"Who wants to have a blue windshield?" - Pontiac blowing years of R&D
"70% of Beer is consumed by males age 18-34 while watching sports." - Think about that.
Discussing caffeinated beverages and target markets, a Mormon woman is brought up as an example. - "Yeah, but if that woman starts hanging out with Atheists, she's gonna buy a coke eventually!"
"I see a lot of things my friends don't see.." - Random Guy
"I can't talk Piggip Latin." - Brad
"You can't speak English." - Me
"Hey look a hot chick!" - Brad
"She just went by two girls ago." - Me
"Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! You have to realize my memory of hot chicks only goes back one." - Brad
The same girl walks back by.
"Do you remember her now? - Me
"Yeah, she was the last one. - Brad
A "hot chick" passes by, followed soon after by the original one.
"Hey! There's another one!" - exclaimed Brad
---------------------------------------
Note: My Psych Professor's name is Joe Berta, and the following are entitled Berta-isms. All are directly from lectures he's given. And, shocking though it may be, many of them came directly from talking about Psychology.
"Joe Berta is the Future!"
"Don't screw with the Pigmes!"
"Note to self: Don't drill holes in skull..or go into boxing... or play hacky-sack or soccer w/ brain."
"Twitmeyer the Contender" - (Supposedly the first guy to use Classical Conditioning - eat your heart out Pavlov)
"I know more about underwear than Michael Jordan!" - Berta knows Underwear.
Explaining Memory, how people generally remember things which can be applied to themselves personally better than anything else: "Which just goes to show you, you're an egotistical bastard."
Walking along one day, Joe is met by a mother duck, and her young. The ducklings scatter, and the mother faces Joe down. She quacks intimidatingly at him. In response, "I couldn't take that shit so I killed her..." - The class sits in stunned silence.. "just kidding." - The class breaks out in hysterical laughter.
Joe explains Women's jealousy over Men in a single phrase: "The world is our urinal!"
Religion and Science: "We're not playing the same game!"
"It was the third grade before I realized nuns were women."
"I'm a hot-ass, let's face it."
"Gay people are coming into their own." - Classic quote from Joe (he relived this one for us from his earlier days)
Mid-Lecture: "Fascinating... I'm beginning to bore myself..."
"Don't ever kiss anyone, you don't know where those lips have been."
"I'm just too smart to see my mistakes."
"If you like ______, I'm only kidding... the rest of you, I'm not!"
"Assoc...Assoc... It's called underwear!" - If you don't get it, it was pronounced Ass-Sock.
"All I do is teach Psychology and watch Banzai."
"It's official, I've turned into a lunatic. I've got a golf football in my pocket, and I think it's cool. I'm nuts!"
"What are they called... you know... Stationwagons on Steroids..?" - Berta
"SUVs?" - Me
"Yeah, that's it!" - Berta
-----------------------------------------
Hope you enjoyed.
posted by The @ 3:40 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home