Gigli
My love for Ben and Jen doth flow like water over the Niagra.
Especially after the reviews for their new movie came out. I dare say, I've not enjoyed reading movie reviews this much ever before in my life.
Last night, we (a group of fellows on my floor) were in my room watching Insomniac (as South Park had just wrapped up), and a commercial for Gigli came on. I mentioned how awful the reviews were that I had read earlier that day. My roommate, diligently working on Calc (ha!) swiveled in his chair, and handed me "The Onion" and said, "Read." - I proceeded to read the article out loud, in it's entirety to the room of school chums. (It is the most recent link the "Humor" section on the right) - I was laughing so hard, I couldn't get through it. Just, holy crap.
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Today at breakfast, my roommate, neighbor and I were watching CNN, and it mentioned that a review of Gigli was coming up. Our ears perked up, our eyes focused on the tele. We waited patiently, and it came. -- The most memorable quotes were:
"Pile of Manure."
"Ben Affleck had more chemistry with Matt Damon in Good Will Hunting!" and
"God Awful."
In perusing the internet at work today, I looked for more reviews, and found just as memorable quotes...
"There may have been a somewhat decent movie hidden somewhere in Gigli--enough of movie at least to attract Lopez and Affleck (whose romance began on the shoot). Instead it's a discombobulated, jumbled mess of incoherent musings and horrible dialogue that moviegoers just shouldn't be subjected to." - Kit Bowen of Hollywood.com
"Never mind that casting Ben Affleck as a street tough and Jennifer Lopez as a lesbian stretches believability more than casting John Goodman as Peter Pan." -Mr. Cranky of MrCranky.com
"Gigli is a gargantuan piece of shit and deserves a place in the Bad Movie Hall of Shame. Put it higher than Showgirls (because that had the balls to push the nudity envelope) and the unholy trinity of Glitter, Battlefield Earth and Gods and Generals (because those were vanity projects forced through the system) ... It's a nightmarish blend of Rain Man and Chasing Amy. It's full of long-winded speeches that say absolutely nothing ... Everyone is raving about Gigli's brief cameos from real actors, but I think they just seem great compared to the rest of the bullshit on the screen. Kind of a pleasant distraction, like when your doctor busts out with "Baby Got Back" during your colonoscopy." - Jon Poppick of @N-Zone.com
And plenty of material in User Reviews - I'll let you look through those if you wish.
The highest ratings I've seen so far have been a single solitary D on a grading scale, and a one star out of four. Fs and Half-Stars abound for this one.
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The bad thing is... it's massive publicity... worst movie of the year!... they say there's no such thing as bad publicity... I hope they're wrong... because this sends the message, you can make the worst movie of the year, and as long as it's well publicized as such, you'll make a killing at the box office. Noooooooooooooooooooo! Say it ain't so.
Especially after the reviews for their new movie came out. I dare say, I've not enjoyed reading movie reviews this much ever before in my life.
Last night, we (a group of fellows on my floor) were in my room watching Insomniac (as South Park had just wrapped up), and a commercial for Gigli came on. I mentioned how awful the reviews were that I had read earlier that day. My roommate, diligently working on Calc (ha!) swiveled in his chair, and handed me "The Onion" and said, "Read." - I proceeded to read the article out loud, in it's entirety to the room of school chums. (It is the most recent link the "Humor" section on the right) - I was laughing so hard, I couldn't get through it. Just, holy crap.
------------------------
Today at breakfast, my roommate, neighbor and I were watching CNN, and it mentioned that a review of Gigli was coming up. Our ears perked up, our eyes focused on the tele. We waited patiently, and it came. -- The most memorable quotes were:
"Pile of Manure."
"Ben Affleck had more chemistry with Matt Damon in Good Will Hunting!" and
"God Awful."
In perusing the internet at work today, I looked for more reviews, and found just as memorable quotes...
"There may have been a somewhat decent movie hidden somewhere in Gigli--enough of movie at least to attract Lopez and Affleck (whose romance began on the shoot). Instead it's a discombobulated, jumbled mess of incoherent musings and horrible dialogue that moviegoers just shouldn't be subjected to." - Kit Bowen of Hollywood.com
"Never mind that casting Ben Affleck as a street tough and Jennifer Lopez as a lesbian stretches believability more than casting John Goodman as Peter Pan." -Mr. Cranky of MrCranky.com
"Gigli is a gargantuan piece of shit and deserves a place in the Bad Movie Hall of Shame. Put it higher than Showgirls (because that had the balls to push the nudity envelope) and the unholy trinity of Glitter, Battlefield Earth and Gods and Generals (because those were vanity projects forced through the system) ... It's a nightmarish blend of Rain Man and Chasing Amy. It's full of long-winded speeches that say absolutely nothing ... Everyone is raving about Gigli's brief cameos from real actors, but I think they just seem great compared to the rest of the bullshit on the screen. Kind of a pleasant distraction, like when your doctor busts out with "Baby Got Back" during your colonoscopy." - Jon Poppick of @N-Zone.com
And plenty of material in User Reviews - I'll let you look through those if you wish.
The highest ratings I've seen so far have been a single solitary D on a grading scale, and a one star out of four. Fs and Half-Stars abound for this one.
------------------------
The bad thing is... it's massive publicity... worst movie of the year!... they say there's no such thing as bad publicity... I hope they're wrong... because this sends the message, you can make the worst movie of the year, and as long as it's well publicized as such, you'll make a killing at the box office. Noooooooooooooooooooo! Say it ain't so.
posted by The @ 8:04 AM
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